Herb Neufeld and the Chinese Pirate


Ulla Thomsen







Herb: V.O:    It was on that fateful morning that they        first espied trhe land.. yea it had been       many such days upon the yellow billows of               the China Seas that he had endured this         ordeal... Oh, verily and god himself only       knew tha full ordeal endured by the fear                    of this man upon the sloping shoulders of      fate itself.. and then..

              [breaks off] my god, here I am sitting by       the window in the Mantelgasse, home of the       Neufeld incorporated Detective agency,                 Novel writing syndicate and federated      advertising agents of Heidelberg when      suddenly I espy a strange Chinaman,               resplendant in silk pyjamas and square          hat, fingering his long moustache... but        beneath the shapeless clothes I happen to          know there lurks the shapely curves of ...                ah, dear viewer, little do you know but         that I know this strange piece of flotsam         to be the shapely Mariella, who I have                    been pursuing for days and days.. and to        no marked success.. so far anyway    ...       well, in for a pzennig, in for five                         marks... [leans out of window] ... Hey          You! I mean... ahh! [falls: FX] ......


Fade to:

Mariella:               I don't know... suddenly this guy I vaguely know leans out of tg window, screams   something like... 'I can't stand it any more'         and jumps to the ground...

Policeman:    Only it wa only four metres to the    ground..

Mariella:               darn nearly killed me, actually

Policeman:    Suicidal types are pretty peculiar...

Fade to: Hospital FX:

Dr Schmidt: Now now, relax old man

Herb:         What happened?

Schmidt:      Poor man, tyoical of such cases.. can't rememebr a thing

Herb:         Gosh... where am I?

Schmidt:      You really should rest

Herb:         Who?

Schmidt:      Yoou

Herb:         Who's me?